galacticlovers

It's so weird that 2006 is almost over. Hopefully by this time next year I'll have a DSLR and will be making lots of money by pointing it at things. Actually, I just hope I have it by time I go to New Orleans for the summer. I think I'm going to start saving for it after I buy my returning Mardi Gras ticket in a few weeks. gah.

It's been so long since I've even visited this site. But today I felt like updating some pictures and maybe a journal entry. Since the last time i was here I've had a few adventures, had my heartbroken, and had someone come and pick the pieces of me up. I feel good, and feel ENOUGH. Like I took a deep breath and said.. "Yes, I am complete"

I'm uninspired. I'm feeling flabby and not good enough. I want to be good enough. For Mattie. I don't know why I never do. I feel like everyone else he knows, every other girl is so much more beautiful than I, and he wants them so much more than he wants me. I look at photographs I take and they seem mediocre and stupid next to him. But then again, he's the only one who can make me feel good. I need to feel whole again.  I need to feel thin and sexy again. I need to feel artistic again. I want to take pictures that inspire. But I can't seem to tear the stitches out of my eyes. :pills: :pills: + movie + crying = Tonight